Friday, 24 July 2009

Don't Jump The Gun

I'm so glad that I read Akshay's blog last week. Yes, I admit that I am Divya Shekhar who hacked into Akshay's blog. I'm writing this to clarify my points as a guest writer. If I hadn't read Akshay's blog, the disorder he's suffering from would have gone unnoticed. I recognized the symptoms immediately...

* When they are faced with a different/difficult situation...the disorder kicks in, clouding all rational thought and judgement.

* Immediately after; and in a similar vein of Optimus Prime, Megatron and their gang of Autobots and Deceptions; these seemingly normal men transform into machines on a fight... shooting first and asking questions later.

* This is followed by utter confusion. Because at the end of it all, as they stand amongst the rubble of battle they began, they wonder... what brought it on the in the first place! Akshay... buddy, it's ok... don't panic. You've been inflicted by the 'Male-Jump-To Conclusions Syndrome' or the MJTCS as it is known medically. There's no need to to be frightened, it's fairly common and is known to have affected about 97% of the male population.

Unfortunately for you, as far as I know MJTCS is not curable. However, it is controllable. No pills or operation required, but I've discovered a few simple steps that involve deep breathing, seeking advice from women and also certain control techniques which are too long to list it. Rest assured, as a fellow blogger, I will do everything in my power to help you get through this.

Be comforted by the fact that the women of the world have recognized the MJTCS... and we have become accustomed to picking up the pieces after such attacks. On this occasion, I did what any woman in my place would do... I went looking for the truth, trying to understand the reality of "Akshay and the case of the hacked blog". I was determined to put your mind at ease and save you from days of bad moods.

This, in spite of the fact that you "jumped to conclusions"; and also in spite of the fact that you called me your "nemesis who was up to her old tricks" (that really, really hurt... sob, sob). A few calls and e-mails later, I had arrived at the solution... it was a simple human error that took place in Blogger when your blog was going to be published... it was not some diabolical conspiracy theory drawn up Doctor Destroyo or any other arch nemesis. Blogger is an open site and sometimes such small errors do happen.

After my task was accomplished, in the cold light of the evening sun, I put aside the hurt and the pain and did one more thing... I forgave you!! Because that's also what we do... we look ahead and seek ways to let peace reign once again. For your sake, I hope you're able to control the MJTCS in the future. I suggest you read the Sister Series regularly for some helpful tips! May the force be with you my friend!

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