I write to you today, as a broken man. I am disgusted, my faith in humanity shattered. I feel violated and unclean, as though I'd found a scorpion in my underpants. What I am about to say may shock some of you. It may anger many. If there are children or pregnant women in the room, I beg you to stop reading. My tale is not for the faint of heart.
Early Monday morning, as I bit into my chutney sandwich, I flipped open the paper and started to educate myself as to the day's happenings. I was reading the daily entertainment gossip because it's fun. I could tell something was wrong. I could see it in my peripheral vision; extra text! (not, as you might imagine, colloquially called 'textra'. One of the many words I tried to invent that never caught on, like reflectuate and pineapple).
I snapped my head 30 degrees to the right and focussed on reading my previous post . Bile rising in my throat, I started reading. "It has been an extremely interesting week for me and I'm very E (as in excited), It's a week where I set myself free.. from my fears and from life in general! I've said it before and I'll say it again..." What in the name of? That wasn't me! I didn't write that! As my anger rose, my head started to feel increasingly like a pressure cooker. In the back of my mind I wondered academically where the steam would escape from. My nose? But never mind that, there were more important things to deal with. MY BLOG HAD BEEN HACKED!!
Seething, I paced and down my room. Clearly this was the work of diabolical fiend, but who? Who would be so brash, so daring? Who had this kind of a bone to pick with me? Was it Doctor Destroyo? Surely, I had vanquished him for good.... The Night Moth retired after his elbow made it impossible to steer his glider... No, clearly this was someone else. Besides, there was something strange about this. It felt like a new person, but still familiar. I fired up my laptop and started to piece together all the previous posts. As I analysed the writing style, choice of words and the giddy girlish tone, the horrifying truth started to materialise...
The text was from the first paragraph of Divya Shekhar's blog dated May 26! I thought I knew deceit, but I didn't recognize the saboteur right in the front of me! It was old nemesis Divya Shekhar, up to her old tricks again! Clearly, she had managed to hack into my blogger mainframe and tamper with my posts, but how? The Blogger Mainframe Vault is the most secure place on the Internet, protected by a laser grid and a pressure pad alarm system, complete with temperature monitoring. (This maybe CIA Mainframe from Mission: Impossible, I sometimes get them mixed up).
Divya, I don't know how you pulled it off, but I'm going to find out. And I won't rest until I do. Anyone with any information, please e-mail me on firstname.lastname@example.org . The game is afoot...!