There are many ways to dissect my current frame of mind, both positively and negatively. But for once, I choose not to put a name to it, try and find meaning to it or even for look for a solution. I choose instead, to revel in it and let nature take its course.
Ever since I put my feet into a pair of flip-flops and went to college, my life took a new course. As things began to take shape, I jumped into it and charged ahead... filling my days, weeks, months and years with all of the things I wished to complete within a span of one year. In a certain sense, it was exhausting... being a Superman wearing flip-flops with a coffee cup in one hand and a totally packed schedule in the other. Don't get me wrong... I loved every single moment of it, but somewhere every momet of my life was accounted for, never allowing me to be spontaneous!
And then suddenly for the past few weeks... I just let go! I wanted to just BE... to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I also wanted to NOT to do things that I was expected to do. In a sense, I was breaking all the walls and the compartments I built in my head over the past few years. And what a feeling it has been... indescribable in many ways... almost like an out of body experience, where you have left your physical self behind and every floating free above that binds you!
It has been wonderful, even more so, because I found a way to fit this into the needs of my everyday life. I'm prepping for the new play by Mahesh Dattani which has been delayed. So, I also rack my brains for studying really hard. So, life continues... irrespective of my frame of mind!
The one thing I have learnt from all this is that it's ok, once in a while, to give into yourself... to have those moments of true freedom away from your responsibilities. It will recharge your batteries in a way that you may never have experienced before. ''Just be'' my friends... till the time we meet again!