Friday, 24 December 2010

Santa Clauses

Santa's bag is again full of baddies. The so-called festive season kicks off with the news of more kickbacks and the hopeless wait for the promise of "tidings of great joy, peace on earth and goodwill towards all men". Women, as ironic as it may sound, never entered the beatific picture. This, despite the fact that it's the women force who now reign over us and the Christmas imagery. Sonia Gandhi and Sushma Swaraj, like the Biblical shepherds, are watching over their respective flocks by blight and the bright star in the east is undoubtedly Mamata Banerjee.

There is also the Radia-nt star who has been raining fire on all television news channels over these past few weeks, sucking her entire phone book into a black hole. So, let's begin with Niira Radia in our 2010 edition of updated Christmas carols:

Niira, the red-faced Radia,
Had a very itchy phone,
And if it ever scratched you,
You would never think you'd moan.
All the other lobbyists
Used to turn a shade of green.
They never thought smart Radia's
Chats would ever spill the beans.

Then one stormy Delhi night,
The taxmen came to say,
"Radia, with your connections bright,
Won't you let us leak tonight?"
Then all the Open media,
Jumped up and down with glee.
They bared her tapes to glory
And made the powerbrokers his-to-ry!
****
Mingle, bells. Mingle belles.
Jangle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to roll
In the glitzy Page Three hay.
Dashing through the bashes,
On a one-night open slay,
O'er the guests we go,
Bitching all the way.
Belles on Singapore slinging,
Or on others spirits bright.
Oh what fun it is laugh and swing
And bring out all the bling
****
Grief to the world, the scams have come!
Let earth. Receive. Her crooks.
Let e-ve-ree-y agency
Prepare-e-rare their do-oo-oom
And all the accomplices sing
And all the accom-plice-es sing.

Grief to the world, the Raja reigns!
Let PAC. It's force. Let loose.
Let CBI-I-I
Try 2G-ji-ee-ee
And le-et them. Get. The Noose!!

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