Why can't you be like her?
You want me to dye my hair flaming red?
No darling, not like Rebekah Brooks, but like Rupert Murdoch's wife Wendi Deng.
You want me to be 38 years younger than you? But you're just 40 years old yourself?
Oof! All I'm saying is that you've never defended me like Wendi defended her husband on Tuesday when she sprung to action and landed a blow on the foam pie attacker.
But I come to your defence! Remember that day when you banged against the car in front...
Yes, dear, you did shout at the driver but maybe you could given the chap a left hook.
But unlike Wendi, I never played volleyball.
Now you're just looking for excuses. Never mind. I shouldn't say anything.
Don't be silly. You must be just stressing over your bhujiya empire going through some problems.
Yes, that must be it. Sorry. So can we now watch that scene again from Kill Bill Volume 1 where Lucy Liu as the vicious gang leader O-Ren Ishii chops the head off a dissenting monster?
Do say: Some media barons have all the luck.
Don't say: James Murdoch has one hell of a Tiger Mother.