Sunday, 1 April 2012

Chembur

I recently came across a newspaper sheet in which the city's top stand-up comedians decoded some of our neighbourhoods by taking potshots at them. I think sharing this on my blog would help in lightening the spirit of the blog which is otherwise known for its "serious" content. Please do not take these jokes seriously and most of the points made are not relevant anyway. These posts are meant purely-for-laughs. Since I live in Chembur, Mumbai, I thought it would be ideal to begin the series of Mumbai's suburbs.

CHEMBUR
Sourabh Pant 


* Chembur has been "the next big thing" in Mumbai's property scene since 1924. It isn't.

* Housemaids in Chembur are not called "bais", they're called "Chembur maids".

* Hip locals usually call Chembur, "Che". This confuses many Argentineans. 

* Literally translated in the original Marathi text, Chembur means "definitely not Bandra", irrespective of how many times you try to pitch that.

* The municipality in this land is the only one that is instructed to allow flooding during rains. It allows the locals to get the feel of the actual sea.

* The most popular celebrity in this area is Payal Rohatgi. By law, Chemburkars are allowed to bludgeon to death any outsider who makes a joke about Respected Payal Madamji. Most people don't, because, they aren't sure what she does exactly. (Gets bludgeoned).

* Local resident Vidya Balan's entire wardrobe in The Dirty Picture was inspired by swimwear worn at the Chembur Gymkhana. 

* Resident Shankar Mahadevan sang his song "Breathless...", because he was stuck in traffic at Chedda Nagar.

* RK Studios does not stand for Ranbir Kapoor Studios. If it did, it would be in Bandra.
  

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