Malabar Hill

Rohan Joshi

I was born and raised on Malabar Hill, or as the rest of Mumbai calls it "town" and as the Malabar Hill-ites call it, "Wait, there's 'rest of Mumbai'?"  

* In the 28 years I've lived there, only two exciting things have happened. Once, at 2 am, a driver fell asleep at the wheel and flipped his car. But it was a Mercedes, so nothing happened to him. 

* The other time, the IT department raided a wealthy neighbour's house. Such a raid is only exciting in theory. In practice, it's a bunch of serious middle-aged people looking around a house for nine billion hours. It gets old pretty fast.

* There are three parks in a two kilometer radius. One features a giant ugly boot, which has become a tourist attraction. The park next door should get a giant sock and see what happens.

* Malabar Hill is predominantly vegetarian. And they've systematically turned the non-vegetarians out of the area. So despite living in one of the highest tax paying brackets in the country, I have to go 10 km to get a chicken sandwich.

*The Chief Minister and other VIPs live in the area. If you work in the Fort/Colaba/Mantralaya/Nariman Point area, you should time your morning commute with their trip to Mantralaya. That way you can get into the slipstream of their security convoy and skip all traffic lights en route to work. You're welcome.


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